Anonymous Stories
We all have so many stories within us that want so badly to be told. But sometimes, for whatever reason, it doesn’t feel safe to speak them. What feelings and experiences are you holding within you that need to be heard? That need to be witnessed? Or maybe you know they would bring some joy or laughter to others? Shared stories bring connection, even when we don’t know the person telling it. They can help us feel seen, understood, and not alone. A good funny story can bring a smile to someone’s face at just the right time they are desperately needing it. Hearing someone share an experience they may be struggling with too can give them hope that they can make it through too.
We have a shared experience and similar stories with everyone really- because we are all experiencing life through a human body. Bodies tell their own unique stories as well, and seeing other human bodies, especially those that others can see their own uniqueness mirrored in, creates connection between us.
I’m excited to start an Anonymous Stories Series around these ideas! Here are three stories and portraits I’ve listened to and photographed thus far.
“I’ve always struggled with my weight and my body image itself. For pretty much as long as I remember. As a result, my weight and opinion of my body as a whole has always been in flux.
I remember most of my struggles starting early in high school. I always felt so self conscious, hating most pictures of myself and seeing something to pick apart in every single photo. My first stint of weight gain started my senior year of high school, and I remember feeling squeezed into my prom dress that at fit almost perfectly the month before when I bought it. After prom and graduation, I spent every day of summer break in the gym until I moved away for college.
In college, my weight fluctuations continued, and with my ever present fear of the “freshman 15” I tried my best to avoid food. I would substitute meals with cigarettes, or eat next to nothing even if I was planning on going to a party. My health wasn’t really the concern. It was staying skinny.
At some point in my junior year of college, I was prescribed ADHD medication. Looking back, I know it was something I actually did need, but at the time I only saw it as my pathway to the perfect body. I used to brag that I would be able to take my meds and eat a cereal bar or some other extremely small breakfast and be set for the rest of the day. In truth, I was starving myself. But I looked good and that’s all that matters….right?
At some point about 8 months later, I was making my way into my senior year and I wasn’t able to afford my ADHD meds anymore. Not taking those meds paired with some serious alcohol (and now way more food) intake, I gained 100 pounds in about 8 months. I absolutely hated myself.
Upon graduating college, I started a new weight loss journey. This one would be done correctly. With goal setting, healthy exercises, and clean eating. What’s really cool is, I did it. Over 2 years I worked my literal ass off and lost 70 pounds. I was skinny, pure muscle, and physically felt the best I ever have. I colored my hair and became this ultimate version of myself that I had always seen as the most desirable. I was talking a lot about self love and tried my best to become this super inspiring person on social media.
The thing was…my drinking was the worst it had ever been. I was using exercising to deal with my emotions instead of actually processing them. My schedule was so intense I had absolutely no time to breathe and relax. I still wasn’t “healthy” or honoring my body. Once quarantine started and I was essentially forced to stop and take a look at myself. I realized how unhappy I was. I tried my hardest during quarantine to continue a workout schedule. Pushing myself to get a workout in for at least 3 hours a day, because what else did I have? I pushed and pushed and pushed until I would start crying during my workouts because my body was so exhausted. I pushed so hard I burned myself out.
Now here I am 2 years later. I haven’t really done a proper workout since one of the last times I broke down and just couldn’t do it again. I’ve gained the weight back plus some and am having some serious body confidence issues.
But I just started a new journey. A true journey not focused on anything outside of me. I have started seeing a therapist and as of today I have started taking an antidepressant. I am working on truly improving my mental health and how I view myself as I am because I have realized that I can’t put a bandaid on my mental health by changing the way I look. I am meeting myself where I am right now and learning to love myself right now.”
“I have had epilepsy since I was 5 or 6 years old. There was such a stigma around seizures and seizure disorder growing up, I remember being embarrassed and scared to go to social events (parties, sleepovers, etc.)…Fast-forward to adulthood, I have been seizure free with the help of medication, but I still find myself reluctant to speak about it unless it’s brought up.
Often times people don’t realize the link between neurological disorders and anxiety and depression, and each day is a rollercoaster. But it’s all about finding a little joy and keeping your shit together, and realizing sometimes it’s okay to not.”
“I was being a responsible adult and at the local health clinic for a STD screening. Routine and proactive STD screening is very important in the modern dating world. Well I had filled out my paperwork and been called back to the examination room. We were going through the questions and I was asked “When was your last period?” I am a transgender woman and was really confused by this because I just assume people can tell. I responded with “I don’t have a period.” She asked “Oh are you pregnant?” I kind of chuckled a little and replied “I don’t have the right equipment for it.” She then asked “Oh did you get it removed? Do you have a medical condition or complications that caused that?” I said “Yes Ma’am. I am transgender. I was born without the right parts.” She gave me a good look up and down and then we both laughed and continued with the examination as normal. I would have thought she was just being weirdly nice going through all that to make me feel valid or something but the look of realization on her face made me think it was a very genuine experience and made my day. I live in a smaller more rural town in Tennessee so I doubt they see many transgender people come through.
I thought this was a good story to share as it was weirdly genuine, validating, and uplifting for me. I hope someone else gets a little chuckle from this story.”
Interested in being a part of this series? Here’s what to do:
-Send me an email to amy@wilde-company.com to let me know you are interested.
-I’ll send you a questionnaire where you can share your story with me! It can be about anything at all! From a hilarious story that you just can’t tell anyone else about, to an experience you’ve been through, thoughts and stories you tell yourself about your body, a story where you’ve been hurt, experiences around health, something you wish you could say to someone but can’t, stories around your identity, literally anything! I know you have stories within you- this is a safe space to let them out.
-Next we will set a time for you to come into my studio for a quick 20 minute session where I take photos of you that are completely anonymous- aka no one would be able to identify you within the photo.
-I plan to put these together into a series showcased on my website. And if it goes over well and I get lots of participants, maybe even a book or gallery series!
Your name, information, and anything that could identify you will not be shared!! Your privacy, safety, and trust are important to me and I will ensure that you will truly stay anonymous.
What stories do you have to share? I’m here and ready to listen friends!
You can contact me via the contact page on my website by clicking here, or send me a direct email to amy@wilde-company.com!
